Practice self-love on Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day isn’t just about hearts and roses; it’s a time when love is the air, but often, the spotlight shines solely on romantic partnerships. Yet, isn’t there a more fundamental relationship we should prioritize? The one we have with ourselves. This self-connection sets the tone for all other relationships in our lives. After all, if we don’t cherish ourselves, how can we expect others to?

Many of us can struggle with the concept of self-love while navigating midlife or the throes of menopausal symptoms. Hormonal shifts, body changes—they can dent our confidence, both in and out of the bedroom. You don’t like what you feel on the inside or see in the mirror so instead you seek for that love outside of yourself, go to war with your body, judge or speak unkindly to yourself - moving in the opposite direction of love. So this Valentine’s Day, let’s shift the focus inward, reigniting self-love, confidence, and pleasure. By strengthening our relationship with ourselves, we can then enrich our connections with others.

With this in mind here are some things that will help you to foster the relationship you have with yourself this Valentine’s day:

Practice Self-Compassion:

Self-love begins with self-compassion. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a partner. Acknowledge your flaws and imperfections without judgment or planning how you will change them in your mind.

 Nurture Your Body:

Take care of your physical well-being by nourishing your body with healthy foods, staying active, and getting enough rest. Treat yourself to activities that make you feel good, whether it's a relaxing bath, a yoga session, or a walk in nature. Pay attention to your body's needs and honor them without guilt.

Cultivate Positive Self-Talk:

Monitor your inner dialogue and challenge negative self-talk. Replace self-criticism with words of encouragement and affirmation. Practice gratitude for the unique qualities that make you who you are. Remember that you are worthy of love and acceptance just as you are.

Pursue Your Passions:

Outside of the bedroom invest time in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Whether it's painting, writing, cooking, or dancing, indulge in the things that ignite your passion and creativity. Prioritize your interests and hobbies as an essential part of self-care.

Embarking on Self-pleasure

A large part of cultivating a loving and empowered relationship with yourself is self-intimacy. As our bodies evolve in midlife, so do our desires. This Valentine’s Day, gift yourself the opportunity to rediscover your pleasure - reacquaint yourself with your body, with your desires and with what feels good to you by starting a self-pleasure practice. 

Here are a few ways to start exploring self-pleasure this Valentine’s Day:

Explore Your Erogenous Zones:

Your body is a treasure trove of pleasure waiting to be discovered. Begin by finding a quiet space where you can focus solely on yourself. Take the time to explore sensitive areas such as your neck, mouth/lips, inner arms, armpits, breasts, abdomen, pelvic area, inner thighs, and feet. Allow your own touch to guide you, paying attention to the sensations and responses each area elicits.

Connect with Your Vulva:

Delve deeper into your exploration by connecting with your vulva. Massage the external vulval area gently, simply noticing the sensations it invokes. It’s normal to encounter resistance, so be patient with yourself. Cultivate a sense of comfort and safety by taking slow, deep breaths. Consider a water-based lubricant, especially if you experience dryness or sensitivity. Regular, gentle connection with your vulva fosters intimacy and inner communication, promoting self-awareness, self-love, and sexual wellness.

Invest in Quality Products:

Elevate your self-pleasure experience by investing high quality lubricants, massage oils, or scented candles to create a stimulating sensory experience. Explore various types of sex toys tailored to your preferences and needs, enhancing your pleasure exploration.

Explore Fantasies and Desires:

Embrace your fantasies and desires without judgment. Take time to delve into what excites you and indulge in your fantasies. Whether through erotic literature, films, or role-playing, give yourself permission to explore your sexuality fully. This exploration can lead to a deeper sense of pleasure and fulfillment as you uncover new aspects of your desires.

Be Kind to Yourself:

Approach self-pleasure with kindness and compassion. Release any expectations or judgments you may hold about yourself. Allow yourself to fully embrace pleasure without guilt or shame. Remember that self-pleasure is a natural and healthy aspect of self-expression and self-care.

 By following these steps and nurturing a positive relationship with yourself, you can embark on a journey of self-discovery and pleasure that enhances your overall well-being and sexual pleasure whether you’re flying solo or coupled up this Valentine’s. Say YES to yourself and reignite that spark by joining me for sexual wellness coaching this month, because pleasure has no age limit. And remember, celebrate the most significant relationship—the one you have with yourself.